I feel like I have been in one of those Allstate mayhem commercials, except, that mayhem man wasn't there, nor was the Allstate man with the deep voice, or any professional stunt drivers. It was just me, and two others involved. Although no one was hurt, I wish my car was hit by the car trying to merge into my lane. I know I should be thankful nothing else happened and that it was truly an accident, but I wish I wasn't the one to be blamed. My car is a wreck and soon, my pockets will be starving. I am still regretful, ashamed, tense, and exhaling loudly as if I need someone to ask me, "What's wrong?" But I hope no one does because I will probably mentally berate the first person to ask, and then answer them with the least words as possible.
If I were someone else, I'd tell me to get through the insurance process, report the damages, deal with what is in front of me (before I screw that up, too), pay for my mistake, and move on because life always does. People mess up, it's in our nature. And if I keep reminding myself of how stupid I was for letting it happen, I'll never get over it and I'll just keep playing it over and over in my head. Who cares if my dad said my story made no sense. It's how I saw it happen.
Advice seems all so easy when you're giving it away. But it's another thing when you're giving it to yourself. It doesn't seem to digest the same way. I should have honked my horn. I could have kept scanning my surroundings instead of solely focusing on whether or not the car beside me would hit me, and I could have and would have done all of those things, but I just wanted to get to work. And now that I'm here, I barely feel an ounce better. Well, it beats dealing with the awkwardness at home.
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