I'm falling apart inside...Literally!

Maybe it's a mental thing. Maybe it's not as bad as it seems. Maybe it could be worse. Maybe I'm being initiated into real life--real freaking fast. The man upstairs is probably testing me to see how well I can handle myself as a true adult. I'm 22, yet, I still live with my parents, hardly pay any bills, and still have a curfew. I'm still dumbfounded at the fact that my mom had just moved into her own house, was married, and pregnant with her second child at my age. Naturally, she became more mature at my age than I am now. (But I think she was always that type of person: a topic I'll get into once I'm more comfortable with blogging.)

Current mood: stressed (physically and mentally). 

Current location: not on ground level (physically and mentally).

And both are problematic. I keep telling myself I need to relax and fix my problems one thing at a time. Instead, I take everything as a whole and make the situations worse than they really are. I'm not trying to make my problems seem minute nor condescend these matters, because even though it’s been confirmed that my car is a total loss, I might have to find my own car insurance, I went to the chiropractor and felt uneasy being there, and I falsified information, there is definitely some light in all of this.

I paid $4900 for the car I totaled two weeks ago. My insurance is paying me $6200 to pay off the car so I can get a new one. The insurance man said to see the situation as if I had a free car from the time I bought it. Although I wished they could just fix it, it is “irreparably damaged.” Apparently, the cost to fix my car would be more than the car is worth. I still think that’s a lie. I believe they just want to keep it and fix it so they can sell it for more money. On the brighter side, I made a little over a thousand dollars. Hopefully that can get me a newer model.

As for the chiropractor, I should have listened to my mom. (Why, oh why are mothers always right?) She specifically told me not to sign any papers at the doctor’s office…yet I did anyways. The doctor said even for a consultation, they require patients to fill out the necessary documents for records. And he reassured me that they would be shredded if I decided to not come back.  After filling them out, I was examined and he said, “Did you want me to do work on you?” “I have no money on me,” I answered sheepishly. “That’s okay. I will take care of you at no cost. But maybe we can work something out.” Like an ignorant bimbo, I said, "okay." He cracked and massaged my body, but I ended up in the same amount of pain, as well as soreness, as when I went in. ...Moral of this story, I was scared beyond words. Only terrifying thoughts ran through my mind. I thought of telling this incident in detail, but I'd rather create a short story based on this incident. It's been a while since I wrote fiction.